i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
