we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Four minutes until I can fart!
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
