Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
