I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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