She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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