i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize