Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize