if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
he was CRYING into my vagina
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
