addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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