I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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