I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
This is the high leading the old right now
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
