You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
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I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
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I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize