I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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