just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
