I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
