there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
