Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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