i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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