you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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