Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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