you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
