Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
