How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
