i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.