Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize