Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
