I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
My penis needs a shock collar
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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