Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
