also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
