hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
