I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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