Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Green mimosas i think yes
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize