i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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