In the future we'll all be gay
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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