will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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