I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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