It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
it's like heaven, but drunker
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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