I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
