You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
