marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
