I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
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I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize