Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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