I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
