Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
