so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
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