i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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