You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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