i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize