i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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