I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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