So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
