Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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