This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
