I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Randomize
