i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
