I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
