u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
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like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
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I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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