He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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